July 16, 2009

I'm so ready to ditch the crutches. This is getting old. They annoy me. The black and blue mark on my foot is beyond gross. The ripped off skin is starting to itch. It kills!!!!

Anyway...I can't believe my little guy will be gone in a week. I'm getting sad.


We played dominos with Aga. It was fun. We had Chinese take out, too. Nice night. I think Andrés was cheating, though. We busted him! I noticed that he doesn't like to lose. He quits if he knows there is no way to come in first place. That's not going to fly when he plays with friends. I don't want him to have that reputation. Not cool. :-(

July 15, 2009

Last night's meeting was great. We came up with a strategy to help Andrés talk to me without forcing the issue. For example, if this behavior occurs again I should tell him that we need to talk when he is ready. I should tell him where I will be when he is ready to talk. He understands that this is to help make life happy for everyone. Also, we talked about the future which has never been discussed. I think it helped him knowing that I was serious about adopting him. He's had a wall up for sure with me. His behavior was so much sweeter with me after the meeting. I'm so glad I asked for help. I feel the stress leaving my shoulders as I type!

Anyway... I gotta figure how to play this video game (tour of duty). It's driving me crazy... it keeps telling me that "I'm stupid." !!!!

July 14, 2009

Great day today just hanging out around the house. A friend and his dog brought over lunch for the two of us. Andrés liked the dog. After that another friend brought over some PS 2 games to keep Andrés busy. What great friends!

No meltdowns today.

Tonight we are going to talk with the Doc about how I can deal with Andrés' little shutdowns...

July 13, 2009

Wake up- 10:ooam

OMG! I fractured my ankle at the snow park today. What a mess. I'm in an aircast, on crutches...the pain is insane!

I'm such a dork!

The ambulance ride was kinda fun, though! I don't want to think about how much that 4 min ride is going to cost me! Christina took Andrés to swim at her parent's house while I went to the ER solo. It took a good 5 hours to see a Doc.

So... this is going to force me to slow down. This little accident might be a good thing. Who knows!

Well, I'm really tired. Good night!

July 12, 2009

Wake up- 10:30am

Holy crap. Today was a bust. Total meltdown at the FANA picnic. It was horrible. Andrés took off to the parking lot. He sat in front of my car. Wouldn't talk to me, to my mom, to another adoption mom, to a native Spanish speaking friend....no one. I need help. This isn't cool. We ended up leaving early, but he wouldn't say goodbye to anyone. It was so embarrassing, but more importantly, how do I get this kid to talk to me? I told him to go to his room when he got home. I'm e-mailing the shrink tomorrow for advice.

On the plus side, E.S. was here and he helped clear the air. He was a great distraction and helped Andrés fly a kite, (no pun intended!) we all played can jam and had pizza. Andrew came over too, more as a distraction for me instead of as a reward for Andres. We took a walk and played a few movies before falling asleep.

I know Andres is a good kid. Something just happens and he shuts down. It's better that it's this and not a vocal... screaming, crying outburst. I see the positive side, really! The tension I feel from him just isn't good for either of us. We gotta work it out. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll get some suggestions to try!

Bedtime- who knows!

July 11, 2009

Wake up= 10pm

We met the Northern families today for a tour of the Power plant, a picnic and a trip to Art Park. The kids had a blast talking to each other and playing the Juanes Cds in my car. The rain put a little damper on the day, but we made the best of it. Art park closed due to a tornado warning. Andrés was hysterical the whole ride home. I really think he was expecting touch down! He asked me where we go if there is a tornado. I told him the basement. Then he asked if we could put my SUV in the basement. It was too funny.

We met Christina's family for a little dinner and soccer action this evening. After that we took a spin to Chris' for a bonfire. It was a nice day. I hope tomorrow is just as nice. Big FANA picnic tomorrow.

Bedtime- 11pm

July 10, 2009

Wake up= 9:30am

I stuck to my guns today and didn't go to Fantasy Island as planned. My parents came over for lunch. It was a nice afternoon. Andres washed my car, for fun... not as a punishment. (I swear!!!) For most of the day he played with his cars and toy solders in the backyard. We did go for a short bike ride, too. Honestly, it was a nice day.

In the long run I hope I will think my decision was good. I wouldn't have taken his behavior from a student so... how can I take that from my son? Before dinner I asked him if he had anything to say about his behavior yesterday. He said "sorry". I told him that I am serious in wanting to hear his opinion. I was straight up with making sure he knew I might not agree with what he thinks, but he should feel safe talking to me about his feelings.

I wonder how these issues are dealt with for the non-Spanish speaking families? Maybe because I speak Spanish it makes it worse!

Well, at least today was low key and relaxing. I think I need to have more days like this. It's more like real life anyway...

bedtime= 10pm

July 9, 2009

wake up= 10am.

Went swimming with Josh in Wilson. We had a nice time in the pool. After swimming the day went downhill fast! I think the honeymoon phase is OVER! I guess I suck for not being an MTV cribs mom or something...

My feelings are totally hurt. There's no way I'm taking this behavior from him. NO WAY JOSE!

In my heart I want to cancel Fantasy Island tomorrow. I can't deal with my parents and him if he continues acting like this. I feel so much stress right now...

Ok... here's what I'm thinking...

A... He thinks he's on a vacation here and nothing else.
B... He wants more than what I can offer... ex) today he told me that I have a small house.
C... He's being lazy. Doesn't want to walk, talk, be nice, doesn't like to study. Has no hopes, dreams, desires... maybe this is a culture background thing that I am taking the wrong way.??? What ever it is... I hate it.
D... Can I do this alone, effectively? I saw a host dad interact with his son today. I also saw Andres watching the two of them. I saw a little sadness, resentment, something new on his face. Maybe he needs a Dad too. Maybe I can't compete with all of these people. Maybe I can't offer enough...
E... I need to chill and stop stressing.

OMG...what a day.
bedtime= 8:40pm.

July 8, 2009

Wake up= 10:15am

We had breakfast and went to the zoo with my parents. First day I saw a big attitude change. There was a lot of tension. Andrés wasn't walking next to me and I could tell my mom wasn't a fan. She didn't need to say anything. I could "feel" it!
Anyway... I wasn't in the mood to say 1,800 times to slow down. For some reason, Andrés just wanted to see one animal and leave. It was weird. He totally lost his "paciencia". After the zoo we picked up Janet and played Wii with the family. Nicole took us to McDonalds and the we all went to CC for videogames. It was super fun. Picking out the prizes wasn't fun. Decisions....decisions...decisions...

He's been watching Happy Feet everyday. It's a super cute movie. I love the little penguins.

Bed Time- 11pmish...

July 6, 2009

Wake up: 10:30am

We had lunch with my parents today. Andrés loved Chicken Fingers! We went swimming in West Seneca. He's a great swimmer. He's a really good kid. He's nice to the little kids and he listens to me when things were getting a little "wild". He's very respectful. After swimming he got to play soccer with Andrew and co. Nice boys. We had a meeting at BVS at 6pm. It went well. The kids all seemed happy to see one another. I hope they remain friends growing up. What a unique bond to share. We rated today a 10 out of 10.

July 7, 2009

Wake up= after 11am

We were in the car FOREVER today. I took Andrés to run some errands. We went to the bank, shoe store, Niagara Street Tops and to Lackawanna to pick up the Colombian guests for dinner. Dinner was awkward for my perspective, to say the least! I felt like I was on being judged on being a Mom. Anyway... drove to OP to return guests. Did a McDonalds run before coming home. Dinner really was a bust! I'm not a Colombian cook, that is for sure. It's been a long day...

Bedtime= after 11pm

July 5, 2009

wake up= I forget.

We went to Lisa's for a little g-hero action and rock band. Andrés seemed super bored. I didn't put too much stress on his "boredom" because there was SO much to do and play with there. Stopped at Christina's mom's house. Andrés adores Andrew. Andrew was super nice to him, as was Tyler. We got some great clothes from Christina that Andres' really needed. A lot of the stuff I bought was super big. Well, it will fit when he returns! Watching another movie right now. This is so relaxing!

bedtime- going to be after 11pm, for sure!

July 3, 2009

Wake up= 9:30ish

We watched a movie this morning. I did some laundry and we made cards for Aunt Janet's birthday. Party might have been tough for him. He discovered YOU TUBE, rode his bike and didn't eat a whole lot of anything.

Big picture development day! He took pictures of all the food in my house while I was in the shower. When I saw the pictures... it made me sad. Here is a little boy not interested in showing the people/friends back home pictures of the Falls, or the city, but of the food in my cupboards, freezer and fridge. WOW! I'm speechless.

After the party we went to blockbuster to get a movie. Played guitar hero for a while, too. We got a late night invite to Chris' house. So we went there for a bonfire, pizza, fireworks and swimming. The kids were so nice to him.

Bed time= 2:30am

July 2, 2009

Wake up time= 7:15ish...

Woke up to hearing Kristie tell Andrés "I don't know what you are saying". After a few times of listening to that I realized I had to get up and translate!

First day was jammed packed. He was so excited to meet Willa, my mom's dog. I think she was a disappointment. She is so afraid of people. She still barks at me! We had lunch with another summer host family at the Silo in Lewiston. Then, a quick tour of Niagara Falls, "coffee talk" at Tim Hortons. He really ordered coffee too. I guess it's ok, he is Colombian, right? He's 12 though. I wonder if that was ok?

Anyway... we rode bikes and took off to Grand Island for some swimming at the "Hotel...Motel.. Holiday Inn"! He likes my music, too!

I can't believe we did all this today. What was I thinking?

Bedtime= 12:20am

July 1, 2009

Andrés is here! He seems so small to me! Flight was super late arriving into BUFF. Took a tour of the house, ate some cereal, watched Shrek in Spanish, met Kristie and fell asleep on the sofa!
Bedtime= 2:30am

July 4, 2009

Wake up= after 10:50am.

We went to the dollar store today because Andrés wanted to buy some toy cars. We stopped at a fellow "summer magic" family's home for a BBQ. Andrés was having a hard time.

After the BBQ we went to UB for fireworks. I forgot food. Lesson #1 in packing a "bag".

We are watching a movie now.

Bedtime= after midnight.

March 28, 2009

Updates... sent in paperwork! Just waiting for fingerprint cards and a call to set up the home study. I feel like I should study for the home study! Other than this... not much more to report. Oh! I've been in contact with two other families planning on participating this summer, too. Very cool people!

March 20, 2009

I am going through a gamete of emotion right now. Can I do this? Am I certifiably crazy for even thinking to ask for a home study? Will I be good at parenting a stranger between the ages of 8-12? I feel silly thinking about steps x,y,z when step "c" isn't even reality yet! How do I proceed without thinking of EVERYTHING? What kind of parent am I? How would I set the rules, limits, and lines to be drawn? How will my child see the need to respect my rules, ideas and non-negotiable ways of life?

I spoke with a couple, who are in the Colombian process as I type. We had a great conversation. I point blank asked them everything. They assured me that the background given was accurate and the kids come here with a huge support group. They keep an eye out for us and for the kids. The Colombian government doesn't want this to fail. So... they take this program seriously.

We spoke about some other issues which I won't blog about. Sometimes people just say what you know is true in your heart, but you can't hear your heart until someone turns up the volume for you. I'm so happy I called them! Good move!

March 13, 2009

I spoke with a dear friend in detail about my thoughts and concerns. He is a very cautious man. Negative at times, but in a polite way. His concerns were more for me not getting hurt, I assume. He encouraged me to talk to more people in the program. If possible, to the kids in the program from years past. We talked about the diversity in Colombia about the kids that sniff glue to the kids who grow up in the country clubs. Good talk!

March 11, 2009

BVS informational meeting today! In all honesty, I didn't want to go alone. I was scared. I asked my mom. She was ecstatic! On a side note, my mom should have been a detective. She knows what to ask, when to ask it, and how to listen for BS. She was a great choice! The ride to Lackawanna was memorable. I shared with her my concerns, curiosities, and hopes. She shared with me her excitement and her fear of the language barriers. The meeting was informal yet very informational. Every detail I wanted to ask, I asked. Laura talked about the background of the kids, their health on a physical, mental and emotional level. She explained the paperwork, INS forms, and other documentation. She gave me a price list! A broken down figure of how much I need and when I will need it! We watched news footage of last year's group. We left with my mom crying. There was so much information in my brain. I needed an outlet. I turned to eating. Something I haven't done in over 2 and a half years. It made me sick! Lesson re-learned. Hopefully lesson not forgotten!