2-18-13

Our adoption agency emailed us a survey in order to best "help out" prospective new parents.  So I thought it would be cool to dust off the ol' adoption blog and add some pieces to it.

It's been 3 years and so much has changed.  All for the good, of course.  We went from a 2 member family to a 4 member family in a pretty short time span.  However the stars aliened us up, we all belong together.  We are a true family blended with many different shades from many different places.  Our personalities are unique yet complimenting.  It works.  I love it.

Andres is now in high school.  He's playing 3 sports (Soccer, diving and tennis)  He's passing all his classes. :)  He never gets a bad report card comment nor gets into any real trouble.  I count my blessings each and everyday. 



For anyone thinking to adopt this survey question might help...

- Which were the myths, worries, assumptions and prejudices that you had about adoption before you adopted your child / children?  

I was worried about investing so much emotion with the strong possibility of the adoption not working out.  Also, I thought my son knew he was coming here to be adopted.  He told me he didn’t know that. That made me mad. I felt misled. In the future, I would ask agencies to consider letting the families know this.  Also, I was afraid of wanting to have my son in my life forever and him changing his mind about adoption.
 

Granted, my situation was unique.  I had the chance to live with Andres and get know to his personality before going any further.  I know not every adoption situation is like this. Not sure I would have followed through with the adoption if I couldn't meet/know him.  An infant of course is different than a 12 year old. 

Another question/answer I'd like to share is this:



When you thought about adopting, did any fears or worries arise (if your answer is yes, please let us now which)   
 Yes!  Could I/Should I raise a child without a spouse?  Was I strong enough to play mom and dad?  Also, I wasn’t as wealthy as the other parents and this bothered me. Would I be setting my son up for too much disappointment?  Would he respect me?  Would there be problems (mental, social, and emotional) beyond my control that I couldn’t help him with?


Once again, my situation is unique because I was willing to roll into this a single mom with no intention of ever changing my "singleness"!  I caught myself signing up for something that I spent most of my life trying to avoid- being a knocked up single mom.   No offense to anyone.  As I look back, it's almost comical to think about these fears and worries. None of them were ever an issue.  Rules are rules no matter who sets them.  The key is following through with them.  Respect is a two way street.  Open communication about everything (even if you don't want to talk about) has to happen.  I'm sure my son has "things" in his past that make him who he is. We all do.  Being adopted doesn't make him any more or any less problematic.

As I've said before, I love being Andrés' mom.  Sometimes you find your destiny and sometimes it finds you.

As always, thank you for reading.