Dec. 5, 2011

Tis, The Holiday Season. Trying to make some fun memories is a rough thing for us this time of the year. I gotta say, I sorta hate it! However, being the open minded adopted mom that I try to be I'm spending a lot of time just listening. From what I've been told, we aren't as much fun here in the USA as in Colombia. So here's what I am "competing" with:

1) A month off from school.
2) Trips to the river where you swim. Then kill pigs, make rellena, tripe and other Colombian cuisine.
3) Music Concerts. Check out you tube!
4) Parades with floats.
5) Polvo (Powder). They spray this stuff on everything and everyone.
6) Fireworks on the 24th and 25th.
7) A day with water balloons where people have water balloon fights.
8) Mass in houses with the best mangers and snacks.
9) Riding in the back of pickup trucks with loud music.

So... yeah when does our flight leave? Really! It's sounds fun. On the flip side, this is what I can offer:

1) We work/go to school until the 23rd.
2) We live in a tundra...maybe I could take him ice fishing?
3) Concerts... I can do. Spanish music ones... not so sure.
4) Parades, not so much. That being said, he wouldn't wake up for the Macy's one!
5) Powder, I got an idea! A GOOD idea!
6) Fireworks... rollin' illegal I'm sure. Wouldn't be the first time though.
7) I refuse to play water balloons with this kid. I bruise really easy and really bad.
8) My manger is from the dollar store. So...we could upgrade.
9) I know a guy with a pickup. He'll let us cruise around with loud music.

Culture is distinct. I know it's supposed to be. The world would be a very boring place if it wasn't. On that note, it's difficult to find a healthy mix of the old and the new. Maybe he's not ready or maybe it's not healthy to let go of the old. Maybe he's not ready or maybe it's not healthy for him to welcome all of the new stuff right away either. Year by year, little by little...I hope the sadness and depression he feels melts away. I hope I find the delicate balance of leading him into a new life and at the same time respecting the old one. He's expressed multiple times a strong desire to return to his birthplace for the holidays. I just don't think he gets that there isn't much going to be waiting for him there.

Deep topic this month. As always, thanks for reading.

November 9, 2011

It seems like forever, but it's barley a year and a half. You'd think all firsts have happened, but really, they haven't. I get bits and pieces, a little glimpse, of Andres' past every once in a while. Little details that just seem to pop into his head. It's cool he shares them with me. His memories are so random. They are fun to hear. Searching for soda cans in garbage cans and on the streets was a recent memory. I'm tearing up thinking they were doing it for food. Nope, not so much, him and his street eurchants pitched in to buy a playstation. (Or so he reports!)

Our laughs this month include the fact that he puts EVERYTHING back empty. I'm talkin' ice cream containers, egg cartons, bags of chips and even the box of Saran wrap! It's annoying, but I'm laughing. Really, why get mad? Someday I'll miss thinking there's an empty box of Oreos waiting for me. Gotta enjoy it while I got it!

Halloween was fun. I took him out for an hour. After about 10 houses he'd yell "Trick or Treat. Yeah! Just one". For some reason the neighbors were shocked he rolled solo. Anyway...It started to rain about half way in. We kept going. Upon our return home he organized all the candy into piles. Super fun. We played some tricks on the kids that came to our house...by trying to hand out carrots instead of candy. It was a blast.

English is rockin'. Now he talks to the TV. It's great. For example, an ad will come on for a dentist office...saying "Come in and visit us."...Andres answers back! He'll say, "Sure...see ya tomorrow." Or "Sorry, no time this week." Or, "What will I get?" It's hilarious!

He's not a good keeper of secrets. He's been begging me for money. Begging my parents for money too. He works for it, at least. I asked him what he "needed". He said he wanted to buy someone new controls for their PSP3. I told him that was a pretty generous gift. Maybe he could think of something "cheaper". He said it was for me so his "cracker mom" could learn how to dance. I just adore my son!

Well, I'm sure there is more, but I'll end it for now.
As always, thanks for your time. Thanks for reading.

Ocober 12, 2011

My little comedian continues to keep me laughing. This month the "shenanigans" included a daily report of his bus route due to neighborhood construction. (Insert yawn. They were long reports.) Full renditions (in English) of the Discover card commercials with that man named, Peggy. A lecture (or two) on how he should join the military to shoot down UFO's and other alien/end of the world/doomsday "crap". Finally, a re-make of a Victoria Secret magazine with zombie heads and other random body parts. Very creative!

School is going well. He won an achievement award for the first 5 weeks. Pretty cool! He made the soccer team, but due a prior injury had to quit. Back to PT tomorrow. Fingers crossed the damage is reversible.

Simple and sweet this month, as always, thanks for reading! :)

September 4th, 2011

An interview with my 14 year old son:

Q: What is the best thing about living in the USA?
A: I don't know.

Q: No really, give me something.
A: I don't know. Hockey?

Q: What's your favorite memory of August?
A: I don't know.

Q: Come on, work with me!
A: Oh! You making me remember my passport number. Me remembering it and giving you a real surprise!

Q: Anything else?
A: Going on vacation with you. To see how big Arizona is and to see the fence at the boarder was great. Missing that flight in DC was epic, mom. I want to do it again!!

Q: Are you excited for school to start?
A: Nope.

Q: Why?
A: I don't know. It's 8th grade. I will have to try hard.

Q: Do you like Mighty Taco?
A: No.

Q: Do you love me?
A: oh yeah. I love you. Your freckles are lovable, too. JAJAJAJAJAJA.

Q: Any thoughts you'd like to share with the adoption reading world?
A: No thank you. I don't have feelings.

Q: Yes, you do. Everyone does.
A: Yeah, I wish more kids were adopted here because it's good.

Q: Any funny stories to share for this month?
A: I saw a Lamborghini with Grandma. She liked it.

My comments:

"No" and "I don't know" seem to be the way things roll around here. I'm trying to make it funny so I don't lose my mind. His new found passion seems to be doomsday programing. Anything that predicts the end of the world is fascinating. (That and bigfoot!) 8th grade starts Tuesday. He'll be looping with the same teachers as last year. Still in ESL full time, too. One day at a time, right? At least he gets up and goes to school. His plan is to work for the DEA. I think he just wants a gun, to be honest!

We wrapped up the summer with a lot of fun. Obviously, we took a vacation. He had a few sleepovers, did a zip line course, hung out with the family at the reunion, good old summer BBQ parties and even did some Buffalo tourist stuff like the Aquarium and Miss Buffalo. It's been a blast. I'm sad to see summer end. Here's to hoping he passes all his classes this year. Not diggin' the idea of 8th grade summer school, myself!

As always, thank you for reading!

August 4, 2011

Summer rocks! This one is going down in the history books. We have been having fun and keeping busy with the fun. I love when life isn’t too serious!

We started off July with a family camping trip. I told Andres not to eat the marshmallows because they were filled with toxins. Let me tell you what a mistake that was. Everything and anything I did came with a stern warning from Andres that I was increasing the toxins in my body! It’s wild how things are made nowadays!

The rest of July was spent at “camp” for Andrés. ESL camp went well, as did the career camp. He didn’t complain once about any of it.

We spent his 14^th birthday at Darien Lake with Grandma and Grandpa. We rode the same ride about 18 times and checked out in the early evening. It’s wasn’t as much fun as I remembered it was back in the day. I wonder why things lose their spice?

What else… He really wanted a puppy for his b-day. He didn’t get one. He asked Willa (my mom’s neutered Dog to give him one). He didn’t get one from her either! He did get that laptop, as I said in my last post. The whole lack of gratitude thing doesn’t fly with me. Gratitude is not innate, that is for sure! I’d respectfully argue with any shrink who thinks it is. Perhaps I will have to keep working on this one!

During this past month we met up with FANA (adopted families) from WNY. It is fantastic to have a strong base of people to bounce ideas off of and to just put things into perspective. I learned a lot in one short hour of informally chatting about the good, the bad and the ugly. It was interesting to see the growth, the plateaus, the roadblocks, the struggles and the blessings that those of us adopting older children are learning to live with. School is my biggest worry. Not because I want him to get straight A’s, but because I want him to learn how to learn. It might sound like a typo. It’s not. I could care less about his report card grades. With Andres, school has to be something deeper than grades on a piece of paper. He’s a different breed. An old soul, if you will. He can read between the lines without opening the book. Look into a person’s eyes and know the real story. I can’t really successfully pull one over on him.

Every day this kid continues to crack me up. He’s always ready with “consejos” (advice) when I don’t really want it. For example, I stopped seeing this guy and Andres said…Mom, since knowing you I’ve seen your heart break twice. Don’t worry. You have 7 more hearts left. Super cute, right? I guess he’s comparing me to the idea that cats have 9 lives? If that is the case then I must have been reincarnated at least 3 times!

There are so many funny stories all the humor at my expense, of course. In the end, it’s worth the laugh. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. That being said, I won’t embarrass myself publicly anymore than I already have.

August is pretty wide open with nothing major to focus on minus a few dentist appointments. The kid needs braces. What a racket! $5,500.00 for metal! I’ll need a summer job next year, for sure! On the positive side, we are looking forward to a spin southwest in mid August. It should be fun to show Andres a different side of the American landscape. He’ll be shocked, I imagine! Update to follow next month…

As always, thanks for reading.

July 4th, 2011

Summer! All I have to say is “Thank you sweet Jesus”!

For what it is worth, Andrés passed 7^th grade. Maybe not every class, but he passed. Good enough for now! In terms of school my plan is to look into co-ed teaching classes. A friend works for the district and suggested I look into that route. I know he’s overwhelmed with school and he totally checked out early this June. Oh well, it’s temporally over! We both need the break.

Vacation started with a bang in more ways than one. I’ll just focus on the good stuff. UB soccer camp. After day 1, he told me that he would never play soccer again. On day 5 he asked if he could go back again next year! I’m glad it worked out. It was great he had another friend from FANA with him as well. They told me that the coaches called them the “Colombianos”.

It was a joy to see Andrés play on the town soccer league last Thursday. He was much more confident on the field. Pretty cool! Since breaking his tibia last year his ankle/foot is still in rough shape. I took him to the pediatrician because Andres was limping and really swollen. The Doctor said it was just inflammation and to take 600 mg of motrin and ice, as needed. We might need to follow up with an x-ray soon to double check everything.

For the next 2 weeks he’ll be attending an ESL camp to work on English and learn a little about Buffalo’s history. I hope he has fun and learns a little more “stuff”.

We will be celebrating his 14^th birthday at Darien Lake on July 16^th. I hope it doesn’t rain! He asked for a laptop. I wonder why? (Inside joke to a select group of friends.)

It’s wild to think I just met Andrés 2 years ago. It seems like he has been in this family forever! That being said, I better get back to the 4^th of July family bonding.

As always, thanks for reading our adoption blog!

June 3, 2011

Wow! It feels like this past month flew by! I’ve been spending some time looking for stuff for Andrés to do this summer besides staying up until 3:00am playing PS3 and waking up at noon to start the day. No more “Big Daddy” summers. I need my beauty rest. I guess summer school is an option, but I think I’d rather have a more positive spin on learning.

That being said, he’s learning how to cook and sew at school. It’s not going too well. From one perspective it’s funny that his little machisto attitude is taking over. He doesn’t think this class should be for boys. He’s really dead serious about it! Besides the domestic spin on school, he’s trying hard in most of his other classes. School is tough on so many levels. Socially he said kids call him a “Dirty Mexican” on the bus. Really he might be dirty, but he’s Colombian, kids. Get it straight. All joking aside, it is sad that kids have to be so cruel. It’s even worse that most of them learn this shit from us, their parents. My mantra this month is to teach tolerance. Unfortunately, people seem to have so many excuses as to why they think what they think. Why is it easier to hate than to accept or at least understand? That being said, my parental advice was to go egg that kid’s house and his parent’s cars. We didn’t. Really.

One more thing that has been making me wonder is Andrés concept of time. He has none. I’m not sure if this is unique to him, his upbringing, or something else. Time, dates, calendars are like from another world to him. He has no idea what 5 mins is, feels like, looks like, etc. When I say something is on Sunday, for example, I have to go through the entire week for him to “get it”. Same thing with the months and seasons. He’s not sure which season goes with which month nor does he seem to understand the order of them. At first I thought it was a translation thing. Now I’m not so sure!

I love Andrés’ random questions. Here are some he’s asked over the course of the last few weeks:

Mom, is it illegal for a woman to ask a man to marry her?

Mom, the cashier didn’t charge you for some stuff. Isn’t that stealing?

Mom, what would happen if I slept under my bed all night with my ipod and you found out?

Mom, what would you give me if I don’t tell Grandma that you did that?

As always, thanks for reading.

May 2, 2011 "Andrésisms"

I'd like to focus on what I feel as being some what funny this month. The thing that a lot of people don't get is where his English comes from. It's amazing how, in such a short amount of time, Andrés' personality can shine via a second language. I will dedicate this to all the hilarious things Andrés has said this past month. He cracks me up on so many levels.

1. Joining me for coffee with a friend: Andrés takes a break from his IPOD and spills all the "bad" stuff about me! For example, Did you know my mom is one of her only friends NOT MARRIED? Did you know she wore two different sneakers to the Chinese Buffet? Did you know she has no manners when she eats dinner with me? The delivery was just hilarious. He was acting like a "tell it all" senior citizen chatting it up in the activity room.
   
2. Me: I'm going to see a movie with my friends tonight. Andres: Can I come? Me: Well, it's sort of a romantic movie. Andres: Oh good Mom, maybe you will learn something!
3. After picking him up from a field trip he says "Mom, Wicked was too weird. I feel stressed out with all that singing. I told you that I should not go to those girly things."
4. Church. So... I am the typical lost Catholic soul. I have lost my way, not with God, but with attending service. Honestly, I go to mass to appease people when asked or needed. Andrés knows this and is playing me for it every Sunday! His latest attacks include asking Grandma questions, such as, When is mass? What time are you going to church? What happens to unbaptized kids like me if they die? Why doesn't my mom go to church? Yeah- real cute. Needless to say I took him to church. He checked out after 10 mins. 30 mins into it he asked when it would be over. Payback...I think we will go again next week, too! :)
5. Studying: I'm not a fan of being a teacher at home. I just want to be a mom. The lines are blurred. So it is what it is. Recently, we were studying for a Social Studies quiz. Trying to explain concepts when Andrés has no prior knowledge is (at times) like talking to a cave man. For example "Longhouse" seems simple. Yeah. No. Not so much. Throw in... Isthmus. Land Bridge. Strait. Artifacts. What a mess!

The most important thing learned this month is to remember to just have fun. The dishes can wait and the laundry will still be there.

As always, thanks for reading.

April 2, 2011

I'm trying to update this blog once a month. The handy cell phone calendar is great help. As I write this Andrés is playing video-games. He only has 3 games because (as most of you know) they cost about weeks worth of groceries! For some reason he doesn't want to rent them. Whatever... !

I can't complain about Andrés' adjustment at all. He's trying hard at school (from what his teachers say). He comes home and does his homework (at least the stuff he writes down in his agenda) right away. Overall has a good attitude about going to school. I know some kids were making fun of his accent a few weeks ago. He's so much better than those kids because he's fluent in Spanish and very proficient in English! Speaking of English, it's really getting good. He's practically bilingual now. On top of that his voice changed! He's a little man and not my "baby" any more.

The best quality is his sense of humor with me. He's super funny and loves playing jokes on me. This month included a fake tarantula. It was a really good scare.

He told me a few nights ago that he was afraid of having to go into 8th grade. He doesn't think he can write a 5 page paper. He was so serious about it. Pobrecito...

He also told me that I shouldn't wear skirts. I'm not sure why, but he's not a fan of the skirt. When I do wear a skirt to work, I get looks! I get lectures! I get problems! I laugh it off, but he's serious.

One concern I do have is that he doesn't do much without me. It would be cool if he joined something. Soccer is out of the question. I'm never going to live down the fact that he was walking around on a broken tibia bone for a week before taking him back to the Doctor for a second opinion! I was thinking boy scouts, but it seems like a cult nowadays. I just wish he had more friends. It doesn't help that he's super guarded when he meets new kids. I hope in time he can relax those defensive walls!

Well, cheers to Spring. I have to say, this past month was a little depressing. Lack of sunshine, prolonged winter, and the fact that I'm totally broke didn't help much. :) We did a lot of TV watching! He likes a show called "Niñas Mal" on MTV Tr3s. It's like a Mexican soap opera about these high society bad girls that have been sent to reform school. It's pretty funny. Also, it was filmed in Colombia! Super cool!

As always, thanks for reading!

March 2, 2011

It's been a year. Already! Good times, bad times, silly times, fun times, serious times. Andrés is working hard at school. His English is fantastic. I'd say he's now speaking in English 75% of the time. He loves TV. A lot! We've been keeping busy without breaking the bank. I can't complain about anything. I'm so happy he's my son. ♥